How I really feel

I play the roles I'm supposed to play, and be an actor and a fool for you all. What do you want from me, I am desperately wicked and want nothing to do with anyone. I fear rejection above all else and seem to find it most of the time.

Impressed yet? I'm not sure I care anymore, but can't stop trying. Fuck I hate this, the lie has gone on for so long I don't know where to begin looking for truth.

Everyone seems to have it together, and if you don't agree with their way of thinking of it than you are wrong and messed up. Well I'm glad to see that I've got 5 different groups I could have plenty of friends in, but if I did, 4 groups would say I'm screwed up.

Why don't I just go be friends with those who don't care, and just enjoy life for its quick pleasures. Damn limbic system and all it's lies. The judgment and self righteousness continues to speak while I fall in the pit.

And for all you haters out there, go ahead and pray. The God that created the world should be able to ease the suffering of a soul dying in the mire.

Can I borrow your paradigm, mine got broken in the fall?