An Update About me

This is mostly for those back in Portland. If you are from Cali and want to read it, please especially if you find offense comment and let me know what the offense is, I'm just trying to be as transparent as I can.

Well where to start, about a month ago now I moved down to San Diego, more specifically Vista, which is at the very northern part of San Diego. I'm right next to one of the Largest military bases, and more specifically it's a Marine base.

Background info, Camp Pendleton is the base that I spend the last month of boot camp training at. It's where I was shoved down a flight of stairs with over 300lbs of gear on and broke my hand, which didn't get looked at for over 10 weeks…. But that's another story.

The problem is I have a huge problem with the mentality of the average marine. The "Jarheadity" as it were, drives me mad. It makes me sick to my stomach and easily brings out anger in me. This is more than some kind of liberal hippy reaction though. It's not because I'm a tree hugger, or that I'm against the military, it's because of my experiences in the Marines, and the trials and troubles that I had. Every Marine is another reminder of the pain and suffering I endured, and the lack of justice I received from that total institution.

So there is that, but many more things. As 99% of you are aware, I have become increasingly concerned with the environment, and ecology. This is at major odds with most of the people I come in contact with. Most of the people in the group I hang out with do not share a concern for even recycling. At best some of the girls think it's cute in a silly way that I am so passionate about it, on the bad side, I have guys proclaiming with pride that they have never recycled, and spout bogus claims that human pollution doesn't contribute even 1% to the Carbon emissions in the world…. Yes, somehow I found myself in a group that has lots of brainwashing.

What I find funny about the people I encounter and have these conversations with, is they think that I lack information, like it's brainwashing that I have received, that I grew up in some hippie commune and don't understand the grown up world or something. I'm constantly being educated as to the reality of the situation, even though most haven't looked at the bigger picture because politics bores them, or the people they respect believe a certain way.

Above all these things, is the faith issues. I have gone through a very treacherous path on my walk to understanding God, and yes I do belief that Jesus is the Messiah, and has saved me from the judgment of sin I readily deserve. I have now found myself in the middle of evangelicalism run mad. I thought I was going to get kicked out of the 20 something's group when I forthrightly said that I think the "Left Behind" series is a waste of time and a distraction for a believer… I was then informed of how many people have been saved through this series and that it was good. I would counter that the only thing it is good for is solidifying in a person's mind their pre-determined belief in a specific end-times viewpoint. Yes indeed, they are all pre-tribulation rapture, dispensationalists. Oh the joys. You can see how I might not share much in common because I: do not see the church as a unit at all, but because we are grafted into the house of Israel get to share with them in partaking of the new covenant. That the idea of a church in which Gentile believers are saved and treated in some way differently than believing Judah or Israel is bogus to me. That I do not see a rapture, that the early fathers did not teach such a rapture, and that it's an idea conceived in the middle of the 19^th century. Yes this is an area of frustration for me.

What am I to do though? I cannot go back, financially or otherwise. I would be foolish to spurn the body I am with, so what option do I have? I will continue to be sharpened by iron of such a different source as me, and continue to grow. If only the Lord could bring me someone of like mind and character. If I have one request, let that be it.

I also find most of the people I come in contact with to be denying themselves of any of the good things God has given them because it COULD stumble a brother. Now I am all for not partaking of an alcoholic beverage if a brother or sister does have a weakness, and it would make their walk harder, but these people take it supper far. No member of the staff is allowed to drink any alcohol, ANY, EVER…. They blanketly cannot watch rated R movies, and several other things that I will not get into. In fact it goes so far as I cannot have alcohol in the apartment because one of the guys is on staff and someone might think it was his if they saw it… how about I write my name on it guys??? But it doesn't really matter because most of the people have convictions against drinking anyway.

I guess the point in all that last bit of rambling is this

I am tired, and feel warn out, because I am around so many weak and immature brothers and sisters. I long for relationships where we can have fun, enjoy this world that God has given too us, with maturity walk in a relaxed state where it is okay if on these simple matters we even slip, because God's grace is sufficient for me.

To bring such tight ropes on ourselves and each other is against the teachings of Jesus. He condemned the religious leaders for building fences around the scriptures, and yet this is what I find all around me.